“I felt the compassion, it’s like a hug” – Having someone in your corner while dealing with housing issues makes all the difference.

Mum of two, Grace shares how overwhelming it felt to try and get her home adapted to meet her essential accessibility needs, as a single parent, while caring for a newborn. Working with her Family Liaison Officer, Natasha, from Home-Start Camden and Islington, she felt she had someone alongside her to push for the changes she needed from the council. Together, Grace and Natasha reflect on the pressures of parenting while trying to get a safe and secure home, and the difference that having someone in your corner can make. 

“I had been trying to do it myself, and it was exhausting, trying to call round. Just constantly trying to get hold of somebody. But Natasha was able to take over some of those pressures”.

Grace came to Home-Start London after her midwife referred her for support during pregnancy. Living with a disability and chronic pain, she was anxious about her pregnancy. Natasha, Family Liaison Manager at Home-Start Camden and Islington, got to know Grace during this time, offering comfort and support as she regularly went in and out of hospital for monitoring.

After Grace’s son was born, Natasha helped her access an occupational health assessment to secure adjustments to her home to create a walk-in shower in the bathroom. For Natasha, this may have felt like “just a few emails”. But for Grace, it meant having someone alongside her to seek the changes she urgently needed at a time when she was already carrying so much.

The mental load of trying to get housing issues fixed
Getting a housing issue resolved can take time, persistence and a lot of energy. For a new parent living with a disability, Grace says this energy can be in very short supply:

“Once you’ve got a newborn, all your energy is with the baby. So [trying to get change] gets further and further down your list even though you know that you need to chase these things up.”

Grace had already experienced the strain of having to push for action when there were serious mould issues affecting her older son’s bedroom. She knew that getting things resolved could involve repeated calls, waiting for responses and having to push for action when things didn’t happen.

“In the past when I’ve been alone in dealing with housing things, [that experience of push backs] just knocks me back. It stops me for a long time in dealing with it, and when I get back to dealing with it, it just feels so overwhelming again. Like going back to the start again.”

For Grace, there was also another barrier to asking for help: previous experiences of asking professionals for support and not receiving it.

“A lot of that does go back to past experiences with professionals, as even when I’ve asked for help, I haven’t gotten it. So, what’s the point of asking? Not asking for help becomes easier than asking and you end up just managing your situation in the best way that you can”.

The difference the right home makes to parenting
For Grace, the bathroom wasn’t simply about making her home more accessible. It was about being able to live more independently and care for her son and herself safely.

“For me, that bathroom allows me to be independent. It allows me to have my self esteem back.”

Natasha could see how the situation was affecting Grace’s confidence, saying: “Your confidence had gone: How were you going to get in and out of the bathroom safely? how were you going to get your son?”.

Grace believes that having Natasha’s support helped her get the adjustments to her home much faster than she would have otherwise: in around six months, rather than the 12-18 months.

That difference matters. Not simply because a process was completed more quickly, but because G had someone alongside her while she navigated it, helping her to spend her valuable time and energy on her child rather than chasing housing services.

Seeing the person behind the housing problem, not just a number
Grace and Natasha both spoke about the importance of professionals working in housing keeping humanity at the centre of their work and treating families with compassion and respect. For Grace, knowing that someone saw her as an individual, rather than just a case number, mattered even when there were wider challenges that an individual professional could not solve.

“Even if there are physically not enough homes available, knowing someone is there for you makes a huge difference. Things have to change. Housing officers should only be there in that role if they want to be able to actively make positive changes and improve living conditions”.

Natasha reflected on the responsibility professionals have when they enter a family’s home and become part of their lives.

“I think of that as a privilege, because it is so hard just to ask for help. You as a professional have the privilege of walking into somebody’s home, to hold space and ask them questions about every area of their life. You should treat that with privilege, with empathy and kindness. That is what your duty is to do.”

Finding your parenting community
For Grace, Home-Start’s support was not only about navigating housing and accessing practical support. It also gave her a sense of connection at a time when she felt isolated, particularly because of finding it harder to access services outside of the home with her disability and chronic pain condition. Home-Start staff and volunteers instead met G in her own space and took the time to get to know her and her family.

“I’m not just saying this, but I feel like Home-Start has been a whole different type of service. Even when I’ve come to coffee mornings and outings, you can feel the love. I felt the compassion. It’s like getting a hug around you, which I’ve needed. Meeting the mums and children, I felt that community, that true village”.

Standing alongside families
Grace’s experiences show that, for the parents of a young child, having to repeatedly chase for support can become another significant burden. Sometimes the most important thing for a parent and carer is to know that someone is there, listening and standing alongside you.

For Grace, working with Home-Start helped her navigate the process of adapting her home and regaining her independence so she could focus on caring for her newborn son. Just as importantly, at a time when asking for help felt difficult, she knew she didn’t have to face things alone.

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Need someone in your corner?
If you’re a parent in who is finding things difficult, you don’t have to face it alone. Home-Start supports families through challenging times, offering practical and emotional support tailored to each family’s needs.

Find your local Home-Start and see what support is available in your area here.