Stressed and overwhelmed: many London parents and their children are only just getting by

“In London, it’s practically impossible to give a child all they deserve.”

London can be a tough place to be a parent with a young family. Childcare and housing costs are particularly high. A shocking 33% of children in London are living in poverty, and the figure is much higher in some boroughs. Patchy provision of key services such as health visiting means many struggling parents are unable to access the support they need.

Home-Start volunteers and staff visit hundreds of families facing difficulties in their homes across London every week, providing emotional and practical support. The pressures facing these parents are unrelenting. Without support, the consequences for their babies and young children can be severe and long-lasting.

In September we surveyed parents supported by local Home-Starts across London to better understand how they are coping. 175 parents responded. The results are deeply worrying.

“I am exhausted and frustrated because I have no help and there is no way I can find some time to recover from the insomnia and stress.”

79% of parents told us they are stressed and anxious. 1 in 4 (27%) said that family relationships are strained. 1 in 10 (12%) said that they are “not hopeful at all” for their family over the next 12 months.

When asked to describe their experiences as a parent in London, the most common responses were “hard” or “difficult”, “stressful”, “expensive”, “isolated” and “overwhelmed”. Only 1 in 5 (19%) parents shared positive reflections. Those that did referred to the “joy”, “love”, “happiness” and/or “hope” of being a parent.

“I want to be able to afford to give my children experiences rather than just surviving.”

The increased cost of living has deepened existing pressures, with many families struggling to get by. Nearly 1 in 3 (29%) parents told us they can’t afford household bills. 1 in 4 (24%) can’t afford essentials for their children such as nappies and clothes. 1 in 3 (34%) feel isolated because they can’t afford to visit families and friends.

“I’m a single mother, I work part-time. I worry about fitting everything in, whether I should quit my job, whether I’m present enough for my son, whether I’ve referred him to enough services for help like CAMHS.”

We asked parents what was worrying them the most. Financial worries was the most common response. This was followed by housing, combining caring for children and paid employment, their own physical and/or mental health, and their child’s development.

Parents with a disability and/or a child with a disability, single parents, and parents with larger families shared the additional challenges they faced. This included, for example, housing that was not adapted to meet the needs of a child with a long-term health condition.

“I sleep in the lounge so my daughter can sleep in the bedroom.”

A safe, stable home is critical to the healthy development of babies and young children. Sadly, 1 in 3 (31%) parents told us their home is not secure and they worry about where they will be living in the next 12 months. Almost half (46%) of parents told us their home is overcrowded. More than 1 in 3 (38%) live in a home with damp.

“Lives here are so busy. I don’t feel any connection with anyone, I am so isolated and alone.”

Parents told us that they will need support to cope over the next 12 months. 1 in 3 (34%) said that they expect to need specialist services such as mental health. Nearly half (49%) expect to need financial support to pay for essentials. 1 in 5 (22%) expect to need a foodbank and 1 in 4 (26%) expect to need support from a local charity or community organisation for non-food essentials.

“Childcare. Make it free and a lot of things would improve. More happy homes, more happy families.”

When asked what would make the biggest difference for their families, parents told us accessible, affordable childcare; affordable, decent housing; and an increase in household income. Ensuring all parents and families can thrive not just survive will require tackling these wider, systemic barriers.

At Home-Starts across London, family referrals continue to grow. We want to support as many families as possible through what will be another tough winter. But current financial pressures are impacting us too. We need the government to do more to ensure that Home-Start and the wider voluntary sector can be there for families when they need us most.

Would you like to support London families through the winter ahead?

  • Volunteer with Home-Start in your local community, find out more here
  • Donate to Home-Start so that we can reach more families here
  • Join our network of corporate partners, find out more here

If you need support or know someone that does, find your local Home-Start here